Patients Say The Darnedest Things

1.  While bringing a patient into the ED:

GC Paramedic: "Alright sir, we're just going to park here for a moment while they figure out which room they want us to go to."

Patient: "Oh yes, thank you. You're a gentleman and a scholar.  And a fine judge of wild women!"

GC Paramedic: "Thank you, sir."

2.  While explaining to a (different) patient that we are not, in fact, taking her to the psych ward:

Patient: (suddenly grabs her t-shirt, which has an animated panda printed on it) "Do you see this fucking panda? THIS IS THE GREATEST FUCKING PANDA OF ALL TIME!!!"

GC Paramedic: "Yes. Yes it is ma'am."